The Secret

Thursday, 10 August 2017


So this post is going to be hard to write but I wanted to chat about something that has effected me recently.

Now firstly let me say I have a pretty good life. I have great friends and family to support and am chasing a career that I enjoy. However recently thoughts of 'what's the point' and 'you could end it all now' keep coming into my head.

What I mean is that recently suicidal thoughts are definitely present in my head and last week they came in full steaming ahead and really brought me down. 

What scares me is that even though I am happy, I am always striving for more and scared that I will never TRULY be happy or TRULY satisfied. 

I even started to think that this whole career/dream chasing thing is such hard work that I don't know how much energy I have left to pursue it, but without it I am no one or not who I want to be.

The other day the thoughts got so much that I did start crying at the fact I was even thinking about suicide (yes men cry too). I don't think I would ever actually have the guts to follow through with one of these thoughts and I definitely don't want to. But I wanted to share this with you incase anyone else ever feels like this and/or wants to chat.

I will always be there for my friends and family if they are feeling the same and I know they are there for me. So in any case would be calling on them (it's so important to look after each other and spot the signs).

It is a tough world out there and being a performer is by no means an easy profession. I am getting back on 'The Magic' by Rhonda Byrne to pick myself up again and starting my 28 day positivity plan to help (I do recommend that you grab yourself a copy too).

Suicide is more common in men than women, yet it is definitely not talked about enough so I am hear to listen to your stories and share your thoughts too.

Also if you really need someone to chat to and feel your friends and family aren't there call The Samaritans on 116 123.

These thoughts are not something to be ashamed of but writing this has been scary and brought me to tears again and it shouldn't. Let's support and help each other.


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  1. Hi,

    I just want you to know that I've read this and can relate.

    It is a topic that more people need to talk about, because unfortunately it does affect many people.

    Take care x

    1. Thank you for reading and hopefully together we can highlight the issue and remove the stigma


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